The danger of thinking that we can have it all

I can’t even remember when or how it happened, but it seems that nowadays women are hunted by this idea of having it all. Unfortunately, chasing after it all is a concept that sets us up for failure, misery and depression.

It seems that women are in the constant struggle of proving themselves. We can vote, we can drive cars, we are in the workforce. And while women as natural caretakers tend to have more roles in life than men, we just keep adding up to our lists. Being a woman is complex enough, and in today’s society, there’s so much pressure on us that it can feel like we live inside a pressure cooker.

A modern day woman is presented as a multitasking phenomenon that juggles conference calls with breastfeeding her twins. She is a career woman, a mom, a wife, a great friend. She kicks ass at work, has time for her family, has fun with her friends. She can cook, she works out like a pro and she always has time to look amazing. On top of it all, she is happy and positive and is smiling at you from every photo of her exotic family vacation.

However, one thing about her that no one ever tells you is that SHE DOESN’T EXIST. As they say, if it seems too good to be true, it usually is. And while there are many awesome women out there kicking ass, none of them have it perfect in every aspect of their lives because perfection doesn’t exist.

Illustration by Javier Jaén

Why are we then comparing ourselves to this imaginary superwoman? She is not real. No, not even Beyonce can be put in her shoes. She is just an illusion of an ideal woman in an ideal world. Instead of trying to turn ourselves into impossible versions that society is pressuring us to be, it would be better to wake up and look around. We are only humans. We have flaws. Yes, we can be girl bosses and kick ass and have families, but the reality is we will still only have 24h in a day. And in those 24 hours we need to do our best to do what we love and to be happy.

We might just achieve to have it all, but it won’t be all at once. Life is dynamic and it has ups and downs. So let’s throw the idea of having it all out the window and just enjoy the ride. Say thanks for what you have and work hard to improve what you feel is missing. And stop comparing yourself to others, because there is only one you. Be the best version of you and that’s the only superwoman you’ll ever need to be.

Ivona Josipovic

Ivona Josipovic is a co-founder of The Smoke Detector, writer, fashion stylist, social media manager, curious creature, chocolate lover.

  1. Such a great article! I can’t agree more. We read about all those perfect women, who seem to be flawless, but we don’t see, what is behind it all. It’s never as perfect as it may seem and it shouldn’t make us feel miserable. Thank you for sharing these refreshing thoughts!


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